a few post-graduation thoughts

This would be my final semester of college, but I went ahead and finished that up a few months ago. During the past several months, I've thought about whether or not I would rather be in school this spring. Do I miss classes? Yes. Do I miss learning in that academic type of setting? Sure. Do I enjoy the time free from stressing over projects and papers? Definitely. Do I enjoy being able to choose what I read? Yup. Have I found myself lonely or stagnating? Nope.

It's just different, that's all. Working instead of going to classes is an adjustment. Having rent and bills to be responsible for is new. Not knowing what I'll be doing in the fall is both daunting and reassuring, in a way. This transition from college to post-college time isn't going to be completely comfortable, and I've experienced my own freak-outs along the way. But it's interesting, really, getting to live life outside of the academic framing (though I do miss it and look forward to being back in its warm, cradling arms once again).

But here are some really great things about not being in school anymore:

- weekends: these can now be dedicated to spending time with others or to pursuits of my choosing without having to figure out when to complete a paper or study for a test
- learning: it continues! It's been neat to see that my love of learning and my desire to continue to stretch myself didn't die when the classes ended. Instead, I'm able to focus my attention on learning about things specific to my interests, like food ethics, writing, and literature
- sleep: I get a lot more sleep now (though I was never one to deprive myself of this too much during college), and I can't remember the last time I woke up at 5 a.m. to finish a paper
- memory: I can remember what I did in an entire day! Before, I would come to the end of the night and not be able to remember what I had for breakfast, what I did after lunch, etc. My schedule was so crammed full of things that my mind couldn't keep up with it all. Note: this plays into the "sleep" factor--it's much easier to calm my mind at night and I no longer lose sleep because of my racing thoughts
- food: I have enough time to cook and eat normal meals now. Meals consisting of cheeze-its and an apple have desisted
- people: I'm able to concentrate on people and on enjoying my time with them a lot more now. In fact, spending time with others has become a staple in my day-to-day life and it's refreshing to be able to enjoy that time without worrying about other responsibilities

There are a lot of other things, too, but as I was writing this list and reflecting on things, I began to wonder how much of these changes are more of a reflection of a poor handling of myself and my time while I was in college. I wonder about the degree to which I allowed myself to be ruled by busyness and accomplishments.

I'm grateful for this time now, though. I'm grateful for a time of rest. I'm thankful for a time to reflect on my college experience. And I'm glad to have the chance to evaluate my modes of being in and out of school so as to better prepare myself for when I enter back into that environment.